TALES FROM THE SMOKING ROOM

Hand of Danjou Press. Edited by Benedict J. Jones and V.C. Jones.

This anthology from Hand of Danjou press is exactly what the title suggests; a collection of macabre and startling stories from the brandy and cigar-smoke ambience of a Victorian-era gentlemen’s club.

It contains 7 tales, most of which are 1st person and favour an appropriately traditional style of storytelling, often finding the narrator lounging in a leather armchair of the smoking room, the witching hour upon him…

The opening tale is Stephen Bacon’s “The Strangled Garden” and features a country garden walled-off after the unexplained disappearance of a child, grown into an impenetrable tangle of vines and lurking darkness. The baleful atmosphere and period language are faultless - the work of a very meticulous writer – and the inevitable adventure into the garden builds to a classic finale.

“Room Three” by Matthew Crossman is a very dark, downbeat story of madness and a family curse, and also contains the single most creepy and disturbing line of dialogue in this anthology. I may have actually shuddered.

Matthew Harding uses a tried and tested trope with “Iron Ape”: the discovery of a scientific artefact that goes hideously awry. But it’s an intelligent story, evocatively told, and the mechanical monstrosity of the title has a palpable presence of violent power even before the threat is actually unleashed.

“The Decent Thing” by V.C. Jones is a single-page flash piece that leads nicely into “Parlour Games” by Mike Chinn. Here, a sinister Russian brings the after-dinner entertainment to a smoking room familiar with illusion and grand-guignol, but not quite expecting the terrors that will arrive when the clock chimes midnight. 

The second flash piece is “Serendipity” by Trudi Topham, a gruesome but light-hearted Vault of Horror style story of graverobbery and reanimation. Finally, the proceedings are closed with”A Game of Billiards” by Craig Herbertson. This is an engaging and neat finale regarding a colonial-era love-squabble that concludes with brutal retribution.

While the quality of the stories is good, “Tales from the Smoking Room” is clearly published from a home printer and would’ve been improved by keener editing. There are several errors and the font is strangely peppered with gaps and too small for A4, but for £2 (Yes, that’s £2) it’s tremendous value for money. Light your cigar, have the butler pour you a large glass of port, and enjoy.

PHANTASY MOSTE GROTESK – FELICITY DOWKER

Maybe it’s because I’m British, but recently so many great stories have fallen into my lap that I’ve had nothing to moan about, and I’ve kinda missed it.

I thought the opportunity might come with this little chapbook from Corpulent Insanity Press, purchased on a whim simply because I liked the title and cover. But it wasn’t to be.

Phantasy Moste Grotesk is an exceptional novella, a colourful and emotive horror tale that rubs its horrible little hands gleefully whenever you pull a face in distaste.

It follows the tale of Josh, whose evening with a takeaway pizza and a book is upset by the arrival of a ghastly, black-eyed kid at his front door. Along with his troubled ex-girlfiriend, he visits a circus tent that has mysteriously sprung up in a nearby playing field, a sinister carnival that promises monsters moste grotesk and phantastique.

That we certainly get; a claustrophobic descent that is just as notable for the emotional destruction that ensues as well as the twisted attractions within the big top’s yellow canvas walls. I think the carnival theme can be precarious ground for horror and dark fantasy writers. There’s a danger of unoriginality and cliché, and because the opportunity is there to really let the imagination go, there’s a risk of exposing oneself as not being able to pull the punches when the golden chance has presented itself.

Felicity Dowker’s story avoids these pitfalls with a sneer. There’s some vividly sick images that cling in the memory (the ferris wheel is stunning), but more important is the way some of the horrors entwine with the characters, the deeply personal anguish of their plight. This chapbook seems to give an actual taste of madness, not just somebody’s guess as to what it might be like.

I only have two complaints, the first being that I didn’t want it to finish so soon. The pace doesn’t even permit the chance to span it out over several sittings. It begins with a wheel-spin, slows to let you get your breath back, then slowly accelerates, faster and faster until by the climax, you’re clinging to the pages, appalled and intrigued in equal measures.

The second is that it’s limited to a print run of 26 copies (each with an author-signed bookmark, a nice touch). Mine was number 24, and it’s a shame that more people won’t get the chance to read it. If there’s any left, snatch one from the Corpulent Insanity press site here.

If you’ve missed out, then keep your eye out for Felicity Dowker. I hope, actually I’m sure, that we’ll be seeing a lot more of her deliciously sour prose in the future.

NEMONYMOUS #9 – CERN ZOO

 The latest in editor D.F. Lewis’s Nemonymous anthology series , in which the authors are listed but not attached to the particular stories, is a cauldron of interesting ideas. Whether science-fiction, fantasy or just plain strange, the 24 literary stories should provide something of interest to anybody with a love of the written word.

This volume being loosely themed around the title Cern Zoo, we have several  tales featuring animals (of the real, the supernatural and the fantastic) and several references to CERN and the Large Hadron Collider, but what really brings this anthology together is colourful imagination and crisp writing.

There are 2 tales set in British pubs – Artis Eterne and City of Fashion – both of which bring an extraordinary establishment to life. From the spooky, silent man propping up the bar in the former, to the claggy, dripping walls and clasutrophobic heat of the latter, these are memorable settings, animated by the weird and wonderful people who frequent them.

Of the title-themed stories, Mellie’s Zoo is an evocative and convincing journey into a dusty, abandoned zoo through the eyes of young girl and the childhood monsters that lurk within the rusty cages, herself and possibly us all.

Window to the Soul depicts an uneasy future in which neuro-technology offers tremendous reward but with ultimately depressing consequences.

Salmon Widow is a rich and very human tale about an elderly lady and her visits to a quaint country retreat; ghosts, memories and longing collide in a tale full of strong characters and powerful imagery.

In the excellent Turn the Crank - more of a traditional horror piece - buskers and entertainers find their high-street routines shattered by the arrival of a creaky old organ-grinder and his creepy, stuffed monkey.

Also worthy of special mention is Devourer of Dreams, a dark and unsettling story about a boy’s discovery of an exotic monstrosity owned by his father, and the terrible price that can come with the promise of success. It’s a serious theme tackled by a gruesome imagination.

That’s only a fraction of what’s on offer, and all the nemonymous authors involved have brought something worthy to the feast. Many can be read at face value or should you choose to, enjoyed for their satire and metaphor. This is an intelligent anthology devoid of cheap thrills, but the scattering of flash throughout is nicely arranged to bring humour and a pleasant diversion from the heavier stories.

Cern Zoo is a banquet. A cornucopia of flavour and texture, of many courses and layers. Just beware of the cockroaches lurking in the salad.

Order it here.

THE GOLEM – EDWARD LEE

I picked up this book hoping for some gory, supernatural fun, and that I certainly found… but a hell of a lot more besides.

It follows the story of Seth and Judy, a middle aged couple fresh out of rehab and escaping the darkness of their pasts by relocating to an old farmhouse on the quiet Maryland coast.

However, their peace is short-lived thanks to corrupt cops, drug dealers, and a local Jewish history of occult slaughter that appears to involve the reanimation of corpses into terrifying, murderous rape-machines of lore known as Golems.

The book switches between the present and the 1880s, nicely filling in the history and origins of the troubled town as we go along. While the first half is more gently paced, with enough intrigue and interesting characters, both pleasant and vile, to keep the interest from waning, the second half suddenly explodes. After that, the novel doesn’t pause for breath as everybody is sucked down into gruesome nightmare, and the conclusion is unexpected and wonderfully dark.

The Golem has plenty of Lee trademarks. I expected bodies to be torn asunder, swathes of blood, skulls, imaginative violence and nasty behaviour, and wasn’t disappointed. This is Ed Lee after all.  But despite all the supernatural brutality, it was Judy’s achingly human story that kept me glued to the pages. Despite the horrors that surround her, she has to battle personal demons and is trapped in a descent that is completely convincing and also tragically inevitable.

There’s a few typos, as is sadly often the case with Leisure publications, but other than that, it’s a very accomplished novel from a master of no-holds-barred fiction. Genre fans will devour it.

ZOMBIE PUNTER – ZOE E. WHITTEN

This short novel hooked me from the off.

A couple of friends who’ve long-discussed what they’d do in the event of a zombie apocalypse find their techniques put to the test when they awake in the middle of a new age of undead carnage. This tale has plenty of genre tropes that are pleasingly delivered, some great fights and as well as some interesting new ideas on zombie science.

The relationship of the two friends is convincing, developing with a few surprises, and the author tackles issue such as religion, revenge, sexuality and survival with a wise and experienced voice. Throw in plenty of grisly action and a sense of humour, and you’ve got a very entertaining way to spend an hour or so.

And it’s free on the author’s website! Check out Zombie Punter and the rest of Zoe’s great site here.

HOLIDAY READING

It’s been a long while since I did any book shopping, but here’s some very nice looking additions to my TBR pile…

 

Edward Lee – The Golem

Conrad Williams – One

Thomas Ligotti – Teatro Grottesco

DF Lewis – Weirdmonger

Robert E. Howard – The Complete Chronicles of Conan

Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith – Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

Gary Fry – The Impelled and other Headtrips

John Lewellyn Probert – The Faculty of Terror

Anon – The Book with No Name

Anon – The Eye of the Moon

John Ajvide Lindqvist – Let the Right One In

Richard Laymon – Savage

Carlton Mellick III – Adolf in Wonderland

 

There’s something very reassuring about a bedside table creaking with quality genre books. May they live up to their lurid red fonts and creepy covers. Reviews will follow people…